so i been with this guy for a while, almost a year. we've known each other longer than that though. about 6 months in to us actually dating, i experienced one of his bipolar moods swings for the first time. he never told me he was bipolar and so when he started snapping at me over tiny things, calling me names, and finally ignoring me and saying he doesnt even want to talk to me anymore, i was crushed. it felt like he was dumping me for no reason and i just couldnt handle that. i need closure when relationships end, or i cant let them go, and everytime i asked him why we were over he would just say "i dont know."
well, im kind o ashamed to say it, but i begged him to stay with me. ive never beeged a guy to be with me before, but ive also never been in love before. that and the fact that it still didnt feel like the relationship was over (since i had no closure) led me to beg him. it was pathetic. but finally, he took me back. the same night he took me back, i could tell he had went back to the old guy, the nice one that i loved. when im older, i hope to be a psychiatrist, so i recognized this as a symptom of bipolar disorder and i asked him if he ever thought that he had it. he said hes about 90% sure that he does have it but he refuses to get help. he gets FURIOUS with me everytime i bring it up so that isnt really an option. anyways, hes been pretty normal lately. until about 3 days ago. hes turned into the "other Kody" (thats what i call him when hes in a "low" mood). hes pretty much dumped me again. no, worse. he hasnt dumped me, hes just ignoring me. i dont know if we are together or not.
which brings me to my question. i know its just the disorder talking. as someone very interested in psychiatry, i understand that he cant help it. but i cannot bring myself to beg for him again. my pride wont let me. so im thinking ill just leave him alone and wait till he goes back to normal Kody. but i dont know when that will be and when he goes back to normal i dont want him to have forgotten about me. we've talked about how he acts when hes "mean Kody" and he says hes sorry he treats me that way and that he will "ALWAYS come back" to me. hes even proposed (i said no though, at least until our relationship is more stable). i dont want to lose him. when things are good, they are amazing. we sit and talk and play checkers or something random. but when hes low, its like hes a sex addicted (we havent had sex yet, so hes like a compulsive masturbator), psychopath who says whatever he thinks will hurt me the most. he isnt like this with anyone else, just me. WHY? ugh, anyways, my question is, what should a person with a bipolar spouse do when their loved one is having an episode? do i leave him alone, and let him come back when hes ready? or do i stay on him constantly, like i did last time?

and please, dont just tell me to dump him. its much easier said then done. hes perfect for me in every way except this one. i just need help...

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