A little while ago my wife changed. She had gastric bypass surgery over a year ago, I have been fully supportive in this and any other thing she does. We have a great marriage of 3 years and have been together for 5. We had an argument a couple of weeks ago- same sort of run of the mill argument that we have had before. It was a bit different, it is time to get help to get over the same humps we come to. I am not perfect and have some behaviors I need to work on, but nothing horrible. I tend to spend too much time on the computer, yet I am here and help with things, I totally isolate. I started working on that and she started going away more. I then found out that she took all of our money out of savings (almost 3 g's), had her check stopped direct deposit into our checking. She took the day off from work and went to a town about an hour away and shopped. I tried asking her what was going on- I had no clue. I thought that what she did was way over the top for just an argument. If I beat her, and drank like a fish everyday I would not be surprised of her behavior. At first the talks seemed to center around me and my behavior - which I tried to keep it to anyway. The things that I normally do, and have been working on were an issue. She now is starting to come around, and feel bad for her behavior because it is affecting me badly. I am just trying to be patient and understanding and supportive. It is hard not to take it personally. I see where she is trying to figure things out. I do not feel in my gut that she is cheating but a lot of the things I am seeing can be interpreted as that except for one major difference- she is not sidestepping my approaches. The symptoms can also be using drugs also. She went to see a psych, and doesn't think that it is possible to be diagnosed so quickly. She does have epilepsy and depression and remember she has changed her weight physically. She was mad that the psych was focusing on her wanting to leave me and why. I assured her that she wanted to know why because of what I had mentioned above. We have an appointment with a counselor. Anyone have any experience with a bi polar spouse?
also, one day I was the best guy in the world and literally the next day I couldn't do anything good enough. She was saying that I was controlling with finances, we have the same joint account where we have a budget and we each have an allowance from that.
A Dr. Did diagnose her as bi polar and my wife doesn't really want to recognize it yet anyway.
She said she was preparing to leave me, that she was on the defensive, she made a split second decision. She said the money has not been touched that it's just in another account. Trust me our marriage isn't perfect and we do have issues to resolve but nothing so pressing as to require leaving- I don't drink, beat her or the kids haven't cheated on her. Up to this point we have had a great marriage and it's better than it has been- up until this point.

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